One of a person’s key life decisions is whether or not to get married. This choice directly and significantly affects how the person’s future life develops. It also significantly contributes to the satisfaction of both partners in the relationship. The decision must be made after careful contemplation because, once two individuals tie the knot, their lives will never be the same.
The choice of a marital partner is the most significant and critical factor among all other factors. Islam is one of the major religions that supports the right to choose one’s spouse and encourages its adherents to begin this new chapter of their lives with the ideal spouse. The Jawwid Academy has chosen to discuss the topic of choosing a life partner in the context of Islamic teachings today in order to shed light on this crucial aspect of society:
Freedom of Choice:
Muslim marriages are always arranged, with the parents of both couples making the decision to get married without the consent of the children. This is because the common misperception about Islam is that it is a faith that forbids partners from getting to know and see each other before marriage. Islam accords legitimate rights about selection to both couples, contrary to this misconception.
In addition to the basic right to choose a spouse, some individuals claim that Muslim women have less freedom in this regard than do males. This is untrue, because Islam grants women the proper right to express their permission with regard to their spouse. In the Qur’an, Allah Almighty stated as follows concerning this:
وَإِذَا طَلَّقْتُمُ ٱلنِّسَآءَ فَبَلَغْنَ أَجَلَهُنَّ فَلَا تَعْضُلُوهُنَّ أَن يَنكِحْنَ أَزْوَٰجَهُنَّ إِذَا تَرَٰضَوْا۟ بَيْنَهُم بِٱلْمَعْرُوفِ ۗ ذَٰلِكَ يُوعَظُ بِهِۦ مَن كَانَ مِنكُمْ يُؤْمِنُ بِٱللَّهِ وَٱلْيَوْمِ ٱلْـَٔاخِرِ ۗ ذَٰلِكُمْ أَزْكَىٰ لَكُمْ وَأَطْهَرُ ۗ وَٱللَّهُ يَعْلَمُ وَأَنتُمْ لَا تَعْلَمُونَ
When you have divorced women and they have reached the end of their waiting period, do not prevent them from re-marrying their ex-husbands if they come to an honourable agreement. This is enjoined on whoever has faith in Allah and the Last Day. This is purer and more dignifying for you. Allah knows and you do not know. (2:232)
This verse from the Quran makes it abundantly apparent that women have the freedom to choose a life partner thanks to Allah Almighty. Furthermore, it is evident from this ayah that no one is permitted to coerce women into choosing a mate against their will, and that they likewise cannot be coerced into choosing a partner against their will. As a result, it is incorrect to think that in Islam, women’s right to marry depends on the wishes of their parents or other male family members; instead, they are given entire freedom in this matter by Allah Almighty.
Men are just like women in that they are free to choose a spouse. This is what the Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) said:
“When one of you seeks a woman in marriage, and then if he is able to have a look at whom he wishes to marry, let him do so.” (Dawood)
This hadith makes it clear that males are not need to view the ladies they are engaged to marry. The one thing that should be understood in light of this hadith is that in order for a man to view a lady, he or she must first be willing to get married to the person he is about to see. As a result, it is prohibited to merely date women without intending to wed them.
Selection Standards:
The second need for marriage in Islam, after being free to choose a spouse, is the set of standards that must be adhered to while choosing a spouse. There is no question that the decision of a marriage partner is based on the person’s character before anything else because Islam is a religion of holiness, spirituality, and the height of character. The Qur’an contains the following statement from Allah (SWT):
ٱلْخَبِيثَـٰتُ لِلْخَبِيثِينَ وَٱلْخَبِيثُونَ لِلْخَبِيثَـٰتِ ۖ وَٱلطَّيِّبَـٰتُ لِلطَّيِّبِينَ وَٱلطَّيِّبُونَ لِلطَّيِّبَـٰتِ ۚ أُو۟لَـٰٓئِكَ مُبَرَّءُونَ مِمَّا يَقُولُونَ ۖ لَهُم مَّغْفِرَةٌۭ وَرِزْقٌۭ كَرِيمٌۭ
Wicked women are for wicked men, and wicked men are for wicked women. And virtuous women are for virtuous men, and virtuous men are for virtuous women. The virtuous are innocent of what the wicked say. They will have forgiveness and an honorable provision. (24:26)
Therefore, while choosing a spouse, pursuing purity should be your top priority. Finding pure spouses for marriage is essential for Muslim men and women so that the relationship’s foundation can be built on virtue.
In another hadith, Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) said:
“A woman may be married for four reasons: for her property, for her rank, for her beauty, and for her religion (and character), so marry the one who is best in the religion and character and prosper.” (Bukhari)
This hadith of the Prophet (PBUH) makes it clear that, above all else, character is the one factor that should be taken into account before getting married to someone. More significant than a person’s possessions, rank, or physical attractiveness is their character or level of piety. Although this haidth focuses on choosing women, if women were to choose men, they could use the same criteria and choose men based on their character rather than their riches.
Additionally, one must truly intend to live a decent and chaste life after choosing a partner in order to receive pleasure from Allah as well. Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) said:
“Three groups of people Allah obliged Himself to help them: Mujahid in the cause of Allah, a worker to pay his debt, and the one who wants to marry to live a chaste life.” (Tirmidhi)
Conclusion:
In summary, it is obvious from the debate above that Islam has granted both genders the freedom to marry whoever they choose with regard to the choice of a spouse. The character and justice of the person should be prioritized over all other factors when considering marriage, according to Islam.
